The Fear of Confrontation
What do I wish most for the fire to burn away? I suppose it would be the fear and dread of confrontation. I am a peacekeeper by nature. And confrontation/angry words/heated emotions make me uncomfortable. I actually physically feel sick. I have unfortunately experienced emotional bullies, who when their point is not accepted as the only possible correct answer, turn to personal attacks instead.
So now I see confrontation as a potential attack. An uncontrolled explosion of emotion. A land mine waiting for me to take the wrong step and explode underneath me. Or the opposite. A moment where if I say the wrong words, I could hurt someone I care about. So I often stay silent.
Instead I want to see it as an opportunity. For growth, for deeper understanding of others and myself. For resolution instead of resentment. For a chance to express my thoughts and feelings without fear of how the other person responds. An opportunity to be free of the misguided self-created burden of someone else's happiness or approval.